You know you're in San Jose, CA when...

Source: Unclear

You know you're in San Jose, CA when...

Your combined household income is $140,000 and you can't afford shoes
for the kids

You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric, but can't get it in
your neighborhood

You know what DSL stands for

You and your spouse almost come to blows deciding to hit Peet's or
Starbucks

You think that American food includes sushi, naan, pho, pesto and pad
thai

You met your neighbors once

When asked about your commute you answer in time, not distance

Even though you work 80 hours per week on a computer, for relaxation
you read your email and peruse eBay

You have worked at the same job for a year and people call you an
'old-timer'

You remember the names of the three closest cheap sushi joints, the
location of all the Fry's in the area and which companies your friends
work for that are going public in the next year, but don't know the
name of the mayor

Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don't call
a head hunter

You work 6 miles from your home and spend two hours a day commuting
and $40 a week on gas

Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and summer is when it dies

The median price of a house is $500,000...for 1200 sq. ft. with no
yard because it's a town house

Your best friend lives across town but you hardly ever see each other
because after your commute you're too pooped to spend another hour
driving to their home

You cringe when you see people in suits at your office, wondering if
someone in management will make you stop wearing bunny slippers

You plan your vacation so that you don't have to drive back from the
airport in commute hours

You don't go to sporting events unless you are given tickets by your
employer

You could sell your home and live like a king in 99% of the rest of
the world, but don't because it would be difficult to move back.

You have at least three computers at home.

You know that California isn't just one big beach.

You know that not everyone in California surfs.

You know there's lots of skiing in California.

You know your rotating outage block number at home and at work, and
listen for them whenever there are rolling blackouts.

If someone refers to "SunnytogaDeAnzavale Road", you laugh and know
what they're talking about

You own a Sport Utility Vehicle and have never taken it off-road. You
wouldn't know what to do if you tried. Same with all your friends.

You don't know how to drive in snow. You're a road hazard when you
visit the mountains.

You think the horn and middle finger are essential driving tools.

You think bicycles don't belong on the road.

You think any car ahead of you doesn't belong on the road.

Your out-of-state friends are impressed at how much money you make...
until you tell them how much you pay for housing.

You know that a "fixer-upper" home could cost a half-million dollars.

You do a "California roll" at stop signs. And you think it's only
Californians who call them that.

You aren't bothered much by earthquakes because you're ready for them.
But the thought of tornadoes and hurricanes terrifies you.

You clearly remember where you were when the Loma Prieta quake hit.

You know several funny stories about swimming pools in the quake.

You can't recognize a thunderstorm without seeing lightning first.

You cringe when a Southern Californian refers to highways like "the
101".
It's just "101". No "the".

You call low clouds "fog" even if they're hundreds of feet off the
ground.

At least once you have gone to San Francisco for the day wearing
shorts and a t-shirt because it was a warm clear day in San Jose. And
you froze your little *@..!% off in the fog, drizzle and wind.

You say you're from Silicon Valley because no one knows where San Jose
is.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
Silicon Valley.